Tighten up that copy!

Hey, @gordon ...

You don't need the "Welcome to Open Source Capital".

Lots of people won't know what "Sovereignty" means - avoid big words when you can, especially in an introductory bit of text.

"Taking Projects to the Next Level" is vague - what kind of "project"? What does "next level" mean?

The 3 columns...

#### Education

This is overly complex. When I edit, I try to imagine the brainpower needed to parse a sentence. This one's a doozy :) Maybe some examples could help, e.g.,

You finally understand "The Cloud" but what the heck is a "blockchain?" Fill these knowledge gaps in a friendly community and access our latest content here.

This should also be a CTA so the visitor can jump to registration.

#### Community

Community is at the heart of what we do. If you want to explore blockchain and digital asset technology, or simply cultivate your own projects, we'd love to hear from you.

Also a bit vague; maybe you could describe the community as people who explore blockchain and digital asset technology, and talk about their own crypto projects.

"Come tell us about yours!" <-- I think that'd be a good CTA since it's offering to provide value to the reader (feedback) and it's a direct invitation, doing the hard work for the reader of "what would I even talk about?", whereas "we'd love to hear from you" is like "Here - YOU put in some work. Decide what you want to talk about AND let us know."

#### Sovereignty

Fine to use a big word here, but it probably still needs some explanation. I'd probably write something like,

Advances in technology have enabled new paths to independence. Independence from traditional banking and from proprietary third parties. Open Source Capital believes in individual sovereignty and we do ____ to make it happen.

The 2nd sentence is kind of a throwaway... "the more rich the experience of life is for all" reminds me of Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite, "If you vote for me, all your wildest dreams will come true." :)

I think the "Coming Soon" section needs a little more space at the top; it doesn't seem to match the other blocks.

My pleasure :)

Do you need a set of eyes on anything?

Thanks, @brunor! I actually gave you some feedback a few days ago on a different platform :)

@mrprince - good name :)

The first thing that jumps out is that it's hard to read - check out the contrast section on

https://wave.webaim.org/report#/https://sociwab.com/

Second, I had no idea that people use WhatsApp statuses to reach people - super interesting.

"Sign Up to Get Your Copy of the WhatsApp Guide"

This could be shorter / simpler. Maybe remove "Sign Up to".

The book cover has a typo - "Irressistable" should be "Irresistible".

I realize you probably don't have a printed book, but I feel like this graphic should take center stage. Remember - the reader doesn't care about what YOU want; they care about what THEY want. If I had to compare the 2 main elements on the page - the CTA and the book, I'd say the book represents a greater value. I care about "irresistible things" and "ideas". I don't care about giving you my email address.

Remove the "Name" field on your form - if you don't need it, don't increase the chances someone will skip filling it out.

"FEATURES"

This section... idk that I'd say a book has "features". Not that most people will see that text, just a note.

These 3 boxes... it feels more like you had 3 boxes to fill up with words, and less like you had 3 things to say. Out of those 3, the compelling pieces (to me) are:

Become Unique
Have an understanding and be able to articulate what makes you better than everyone else.

This is very good. The language could be slightly better, but here you're offering something of value. Maybe something like:

Understand - and learn to articulate - what makes you better than the rest

Basically, I wouldn't talk about "what makes [someone] better than everyone else" - that type of thinking sounds arrogant to me (note - it may not be what you intend at all, just the way it hits my ear). But making it a bit more general - "better than your competition", "better than the rest" - that's a bit more palatable, imo.

Affordable
Save time (and money) today by reading this 29-page business handbook on your schedule.

These titles should be similar, in that "Become Unique" describes a change that you're offering to the reader, whereas "Affordable" is an attribute of the book. To make it match, the 2nd one would need to be something like "Save Time" or "Save Money".

That said, I'm not sure I believe you that buying this book would help me save time or money. How does it do so? I'm not sure how to draw a more direct connection, but you want to make it clear how getting your book === saving time (or money).

"Reader's Feedback"

I think testimonials are great. I always read them, but they're more believable if you can link to the speaker's profile, whether it's on Twitter or LinkedIn or their website. I'd also move them to a more prominent position on the page. These are what one of my teachers called "reasons to believe."

I see you have 3 additional reviews beneath - these should follow the same format as the previous 3 (or they should be consistent, however you display them).

Your bio - I like it. Concise, professional - sounds good.

"Let's Connect On WhatsApp" - graphically, I think this block looks better than the others. Maybe it's that the contrast is better, or it's the addition of the illustration. I don't think it needs the down arrow, though.

"Would you like to engage with me on WhatsApp where I share life, money, business, and marketing ideas on my WhatsApp status?"

idk - this doesn't grab me - I think it'd sound more active, and more centered around what the viewer wants, as "You'll get life, business, and marketing ideas on my WhatsApp status". ("money" sounds like another way to say "business").

Hope this helps - good luck, @mrprince!

@Chiang - no problem :)

"Cool Shoppable Setups" - you can remove "Cool" and I'm not sure what "Setups" means. If you want to keep "Setups", I think "Shoppable Setups" is better - the word "Shoppable" lets me know I'll be looking at a catalog of sorts, so I'm already going into it with the mindset that, "Okay, I'm looking for things I might want to buy."

The "Don't miss out" modal. God, I hate these things. I'm actually friends with the guy who invented them. Unless it's really converting for you, I'd get rid of it (but take that with a grain of salt - maybe it's just my opinion).

"Scooget is a community for anyone to share their cool setups with shoppable tags" - I'd increase the line-height here; it looks a little squished.

"Often wonder what are the products in a photo? Now you can buy them directly."

The "what are the products in" part is a little clunky. Maybe it could be

Ever wonder about the products in a photo?

I think that accomplishes the same thing with fewer words and a better cadence.

I'd increase the line-height in the list to the right of the laptop. I realize it matches the height of the laptop, but you could probably increase spacing a little bit without looking weird.

• "Create setup with tags" --> "Create your setup with tags"

"We make it super easy for you to create your own setup with tags. Simply sign up and try for free! Learn More"

I'd link "sign up" and change "Learn More" to "Watch a video".

"Share your setup on your blog, social media, and our community for more social interaction and fun!"

I think this could be stronger - promising "social interaction and fun"... idk, it's sort of vague and feels like an invitation to a school dance :)

I think the better motivator is to "show off" your setup - that's what people want; recognition. So I'd couch it as "Show off your setup on social media, your blog, or a contest -- you could win up to $200!"

"Interact with community"

I'd change that to "Interact with the community", or "Join the community" if it doesn't fit.

Good luck on PH, @Chiang!

Hey, @lukaspapay - thanks for the kind words :)

I like the hippo and the site design is good. Looks clean and professional.

"A Better Way to Bookmark" - sounds good

"Don't let any bookmark to slip your attention. Schedule it." - remove "to".

"Add to Chrome it's free" -- the "it's free" is a little hard to read.

For the illustration, you may want to call out the important parts. My eye doesn't know where to go, but after looking more closely, it's the "Notify me" and "2nd May, 8am" that are the important pieces, the thing that's different about your offering.

"Read wherever you are (beta)" - nitpicky, but I'd reduce the angle of the "beta" tag - looks a little wackier than it should, imo.

"Even offline or in airplane mode." - these are the same thing, no?

You could also summarize this part with a different title, "Read wherever, whenever".

There are a couple instances of "Saas" on the page - nitpicky again, but it should be "SaaS".

"Keep track of your reading journal" - this part, I don't care about. Maybe some users would, but I don't think it's your strongest feature. I'd probably remove it since you still have 3 remaining.

"Zero folder structure" - I might change this to "No folders needed".

"Does article about Saas belongs to "Saas" folder or "Learning" folder?"

Does the article about SaaS belong to the "SaaS" folder or the "Learning" folder?

"With tags you don't have to care about it anymore." - change "anymore" to "any more".

I was going to correct this but it turns out I was wrong!

"2 emails a month at max." - I'd change it to "2 emails a month, max"

"Try it. Just two clicks and find out what you can accomplish" - remove "Try it."

I think that sounds fine, but is this extension about "accomplishing" anything? If it's not, you may want to clarify about what's your core "value proposition".

Hope this helps - good luck, @lukaspapay :)

Hey, @vaibhavThevedi - happy to help.

This one's a bit different since it's not exactly a product. I mean, you're "selling yourself" and all that, but it's mainly an intro about who you are and why people might be interested in reading more.

(I mention this because it can be helpful to know what your goal is when you're writing something)

"I have a great passion of making and breaking things."

This caught my eye. The "breaking things" part - it just sounds funny and I imagine you've got stories you could tell in that category. Maybe take a note for later when you're struggling to come up with ideas.

Just read the whole thing - overall, I like that it sounds very sincere and authentic. This is a terrific quality to have. Writing with honesty leaves the door open for people to feel connected to your words.

Your English is excellent but not perfect. Not a huge deal, just want to point out the things you could fix:

• "a great passion of for making and breaking things"
• "how It all started.." don't capitalize the "I" and make sure the ellipsis has 3 dots
• "I started programming, after I discovered this platform called, Wapka" - remove both commas
• "Javascript" should be "JavaScript"
• "Thus, started my "webmaster" journey." - this is a bit complicated - it should be "Thus, I started" but I can see it being confusing. It's not uncommon to hear a sentence like "Blah blah blah, and then I arrived in Antarctica - thus began my life as a penguin." I'm not sure why it's not right the way you have it, it just doesn't sound right in my ear. I think I'd change it to:

Being curious, I explored XML and learned about HTML, CSS and JavaScript. Thus began my journey as a "webmaster".

Okay, I think I know what feels off. In your sentence you're missing the info about who's starting the journey. So when you add the "I" it becomes more clear.

Without it, it sounds like the "journey" did the starting, which is confusing.

"How most of the developers look like." --> "What most developers look like."

"I have had my hands on with React, jQuery, Svelte etc. but most of the time, I am sticking with React in projects." This has a bit of non-native constructions in there. I wouldn't call them incorrect, they're just a bit wordy. This could be more concise as

I have hands-on experience with React, jQuery, Svelte, etc., but most of the time I stick with React.

"Thus, The categories or areas I have fiddled in include Cryptocurrency, Augmented / Virtual Reality and even Data science (which is very interesting with Python!)."

I'd remove the "Thus" - "thus" is usually like, "This is how" or "As a result", and isn't used that often in everyday speech. "Data science" should probably be capitalized like the other ones ("Data Science").

"While my interests are not limited to coding, they also include sketching characters, drawing things, reading books and learning something new!"

This is a good sentence... starting out with "While ______" you set up a good flow for the rest of the sentence. The reader knows that, "Okay - this is going to be a 2-part sentence, and as soon as I get to the comma I'm going to be at the 2nd part". It uses a conventional structure so it feels familiar and easy to read.

You have a couple instances of "upto", which isn't a word. While it's more of a slang construction, there's "up for" or "down for", which generally mean "interested in / willing to do X". Are you up for McDonald's for dinner? Are you down for meeting up at Funkytown?

"up to" is used like "What are you doing?", e.g. "What are you up to?" - 2 words.

It's also used when talking about being suited to a challenge, "Are you up to the challenge?" "Is he up to the task?"

"I love helping people and sharing my knowledge which sometimes, motivate others to reach their goals. I hope you will get to learn a couple of things from my journey and what I write here. You can message me on twitter. I would love to talk with you."

A couple changes,

I love helping people and sharing my knowledge, which sometimes motivates others to reach their goals. I hope you will learn a few things from my journey and what I write here. Feel free to message me on Twitter - I would love to talk with you.

Good luck, @vaibhavThevedi!

You're right, @zhookovsky - that was short :)

I don't tooootally love the domain name. Mainly I was confused about how I'd pronounce it. "Value apple? Valua-pull?" My guess is that it's "Valuable with a 'p'", and that's a simple way to tell people IRL or over the phone. But if you have other domains, you may want to test a few options.

"Psst, tradesman, do you want want every satisfied customer TO SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT YOUR WORK?"

Not sure if "tradespeople" would be better than "tradesmen". It doesn't roll off the tongue as well, but you'd have to consider whether it would be more inclusive (or if the alternative might alienate some would-be customers).

The offer is clearly valuable. If people like my work, I certainly want them talking about it - as I just wrote in @TerraIncognita's reply, I always read testimonials.

As much as I love BIG TEXT - this might be a little too big :) Mainly the all-caps part.

I'd consider playing with an alternative framing for what you're offering - this may seem a bit more negative, which is something I loathe about advertising, buuuuut:

Psst, tradesmen - are your satisfied customers costing you money? Take advantage of positive word-of-mouth; we'll show you how.

The way it's worded now, it does sound appealing. Yes, I want good word-of-mouth. But you're leaving me to make that connection in my brain that customers who don't recommend me === lost money. Don't make me do that work; spell it out.

Also, it's an intriguing juxtaposition: "Satisfied customers... costing money??? How could that be?!? Let me sign up to find out more!! :)

"Get ahead of everyone, request an early access:" - this is a bit clunky and "request an early access" isn't exactly right.

"Get ahead of the pack - request early access"

Mainly removing the comma and the unnecessary "an".

Hope it helps! Good luck, @zhookovsky

Ha - thanks, @TerraIncognita :)

"Worry-free WordPress" - good title.

There's a layout problem here, which could be solved with CSS or just a few more spaces in your text:

(Note that I generally have my zoom set to 125%, so that could be the reason)

---

"Do you waste time on WordPress tech?" - you probably don't need the word "tech" here. Also, idk how this happens, but when I copied and pasted that text block into my editor, I saw a photo that doesn't appear for me on your site. Your site on the left, my editor on the right:

If that image is supposed to be hidden, probably best to remove it from your code lest it take up bandwidth for any visitors.

"Stop! We’re masters at making WordPress work hard for entrepreneurial creators & business owners like you (so you can do actually important things)."

I think this is good in that it calls out a frustration many people can relate to - that there's A) important work and B) crap work you have to do. That said, I think it could be a bit more concise... hmmmmm.

Stop! WordPress should work for you, freeing you to work on important things. We're masters at taming this complicated beast.

That's not great text, but I like that it leads directly into your next title, "Great! But what do you guys actually do?"

I realize that this removes the identifiers of "entrepreneurial" and "business owner" but I'm not sure it's necessary to mention these categories - I doubt it resonates with the reader so much that it makes it worth the space.

"Great! But what do you guys actually do?" - you may be able to get rid of "guys" here. No reason other than it's just a wasted word. As a sidenote, is this your venture or do you have partners? If it's just you, I'd consider writing it that way. I used to believe that making yourself look bigger by saying "we" doesn't really mean much. If I believe it in the first place, it makes the interaction faceless and impersonal. But if I'm reading the words from one person, I know that when I get in touch, I'll be talking with them. I realize that putting yourself out there as an expert can be uncomfortable, and calling yourself a "master" can feel grandiose. If it makes you feel better, I call myself a Computer Wizard and nobody's called shenanigans yet ;)

"We help entrepreneurial creators & business owners with website design, WordPress support, website management & site speed. Here’s some quick info on our top services."

So you've mentioned entrepreneurs and business owners twice - clearly the market you're targeting. Would it dilute the message to reduce "entrepreneurial creators and business owners" to "entrepreneurs"? Never use more words when fewer will do.

You mention "website design" - does this mean you do non-WordPress work? If what you offer is mostly or entirely in the context of WordPress installations, it might be good to keep that focus.

The things you mention in this sentence are more like bullet points. I think you could turn it into a more coherent and logical progression like,

We get you going with WordPress - design, management, and making it fast. Our popular services include:

... and then the 3 boxes.

• "Simpler, safer WordPress"
• "Faster, smoother pages"
• "1:1 website help & fixes"

For the first 2, I don't think you gain anything with the commas. I'd stick to:

• "Safer WordPress"
• "Faster Pages"
• "1:1 WordPress Coaching"

Actually, the original bullet #1 might be fine since you may want to note that you're helping to simplify something that's confusing for people.

For the 3rd bullet, I put "coaching" because it's more descriptive than "help", and I think lots of people think "I'll just do a WordPress!" without realizing that it can be hard. They may be attracted to the (potentially) low cost, so framing your help as "coaching" may meet the customer where they are mentally - that they only want temporary help, but will ultimately manage things themselves (whether or not they ultimately do).

"Never worry again about backup fails, updates that break things or security vulnerabilities."

Never worry about backup failures, updates that break your site or security vulnerabilities.

That just gets rid of a couple words you don't need. And I wouldn't dilute the value of "Never worry" by adding "again".

Never worry? Sign me up! :)

"Speed up your WordPress site’s load times and boost visitor happiness, page views and revenue."

A 0.1 second delay hurts conversions by 7%. A 2-second delay increases bounce rates by 103%. Don't lose visitors to slowness - we can make your pages fast.

I mean, that's very different than the text you started with, but numbers are convincing. This points out WHY they need fast pages... and you can offer that. (Got those stats here).

"Flexible blocks of time for help, WordPress tech support, upgrades or any/all of the above."

I'm not sure there's much of a difference between "help" and "WordPress tech support", and "WordPress tech support" and "upgrades". All sort of the same thing, no? And those are services; they don't really scratch my itch.

Using the bullet point from before,

1:1 WordPress Coaching
Over email or video we'll help you manage your site. Learn from an expert or leave it all to us - through upgrades, mysterious breakages and performance woes, we'll hold your hand.

Again, taking liberties with this text but I think the above does a better job of describing what you can offer, and why it's appealing -- you're taking away their pain.

Also, I'd make the text bigger in general.

"We take on a limited number of site redesign projects each year. Looking to start fresh, with good design, great performance and thoughtfully planned user experience? Take a look at our work for others, then get in touch."

I'd move some things around like:

Looking to start fresh, with good design, great performance and thoughtfully planned user experience? We do a limited number of site redesigns each year - see our work and get in touch!

At this point, it feels like your pitch is coming to an end, and I see the blog posts. No problem there, but when the page continues after that, I feel like it's too much.

The "Oh, yeah - there's more" button... I don't want to click that since I don't know what it is. More what?

Testimonials - I always read testimonials. That's why I put them right near the top of my personal site. As far as I'm concerned, these are the most motivating bits of content on your homepage. I'd figure out a way to put them higher up. They give your visitors reasons to keep reading.

You have 2 blocks saying "Kick ass with your website". I'd remove one, and consider removing the "First name" field from the signup form. If you don't really need it, it makes filling it out faster / easier.

If you're using the "image tip sheet" as a carrot, I think you could make that a little more obvious and appealing. It looks like a pretty small thumbnail at the moment and I don't get the feeling of, "Oh, I want that" (though it could very well be valuable content).

I think that'd be more enticing if it was in the title. Instead of "Kick ass with your website", which is pretty vague, "See a professional image workflow - sign up and you get _____"

I think it can be good to close with the testimonials, too - just put them in a carousel so if the reader wants more, they can go left & right.

"Take good care of your WordPress site – the easy way." - I think this could be

Take care of your WordPress site - with ease"

"We help our Site Care customers..." I assume "Site Care" is sort of a product you're planning to sell? If it is, this shouldn't be the only mention on the page. If not (or if details aren't ready yet), I'd remove this or remove the capitalization.

Oh - it was a bit confusing because "Make My Site Easier" is a button, not a link. I didn't want to click it bc it just has that quality of being a form, which generally suggests I'll be parting with some of my info. And it's not obviously connected to "Site Care". I'd make it a link and make it more explicit.

I'm thinking you should really draw more attention to this idea - managed WordPress. It shouldn't be buried at the bottom of the page.

Also, the checkmarks for

• SKIP TECH HASSLES
• OPTIMIZE PERFORMANCE
• SAVE HOURS EVERY MONTH

are a concise summary of what you can offer. I'd use that closer to the top, maybe even after the "what do you guys actually do?" block - the entire block, not just the title. To summarize what the reader just learned.

Otay, hope that's helpful. Good luck!

@MrAtiebatie - I saw this the other day and think it's brilliant. I had a note to give you feedback but got a bit busy.

The cookie warning - I'd move it to the bottom; don't spend part of your visitor's attention on that.

The "targetaudience.app" text at the top isn't doing anything; I'd remove it. I'd also play with the font-family and letter-spacing; I think it looks a little bland. If you're cash-strapped, maybe check out fiverr for a decent designer. I also have some free UI resources I can send if you DM me.

"Tired of writing copy that doesn't work?"

I can see this being a real frustration for people. I'd like to note that the "doesn't work" is left open to interpretation (but we can probably assume it means "doesn't convert").

"Discover the tone of voice you need to use with the power of a 1000 computers."

You may use this syntax in The Netherlands but it'd flow better, make more sense, and be shorter in the U.S. as "the power of 1,000 computers".

"Discover more" button... I always appreciate when there's a down arrow so I know I'm not leaving the page. I'd probably make it a link, too.

"No idea where to start copywriting?"

Ummm... I'm not sure why I'm allowed to move text around in this paragraph, but FYI. Ah - contenteditable="true".

"paying for a copywriting is expensive" - remove "a"

I'd rearrange these sentences a bit; maybe

It's hard to write good copy and paying for copywriting is expensive. We all start by doing it ourselves, but how do you know which words to use?

A little more concise and uses more "active" language - "write" instead of "writing".

"No time to do for 100's of phone calls?"

"Learn how to write copy for your website that uses the words of your customers. We analyse the words used on websites and discover the tone of voice they use."

This confuses me a bit -- am I learning how to do this or am I getting a computer to do it for me?

Very interesting, though, the idea of analyzing other websites to figure out a good way to write.

Depending on your market, you may want "analyze" instead of "analyse".

I might change it to:

Write copy that connects with your customers. By studying websites they frequent we understand -- and can emulate -- their tone of voice.

I mean, that's wild right there. Very cool concept - you may want to ponder how you can get the most mileage out of that.

"Learn your customer's language by the words we analyse." - sounds pretty good; I'd only remove it if you wind up combining this with the previous block.

"Double the conversion of your landing page by using the right words."

THIS is what you're selling, and it's at the end of the page. This could replace "Tired of writing copy that doesn't work?" At the very least, make this case earlier. It says exactly what you're offering, and - if true - is huge.

You may not need the explanatory text, "Sign up for the newsletter and follow the progress of targetaudience.app. Be one of the first members who can use this app." It's probably clear enough from the button that says, "Sign up for early access". If you want to keep the text, make it darker - the contrast is pretty low right now.

I hope that's helpful, @MrAtiebatie. If the technology works as promised, you've got a great idea on your hands.

Hey, @nscode :)

"Get some insights on incredible startups" - remove the word "some"

The 3 blocks beneath are misaligned:

I might remove the analytics link next to your logo - it's a little confusing why it's there and divides my attention; I wondered if it was clickable, rolled over the logo, etc. Not what you're selling.

"Our Heros" should be "Our Heroes", and I'd put a little blurb underneath that headline, like "These startups have created tools we like a lot."

Maybe not that text, but I think it'd be good to add some detail to what you mean by "Our Heroes".

"A glowing community" - I don't love the word "glowing" and I don't know that it means anything. A "transparent" community would mean something and be relevant (though I don't love that either).

"To become an "Open Startup", you must operate in full transparency and share any metrics, including revenue, users and traffic. You can get the revenue verified by Stripe, Indiehackers Indie Hackers, and ChartMogul, traffic by Simple Analytics and Google Analytics, uptime by , uptime by Uptimerobot Uptime Robot."

First note, use the exact name when linking to others' websites - whatever's in their HTML title.

Second, this is a good clarification of what you mean by "Open Startup". While people in IH know what it means, it's not necessarily clear to others and could be explained closer to the top of the page. Even a block for "What's an Open Startup".

Holy shit, I just went to the top of the page to see where you could put it and realized you already have this. I wonder why I skipped over it - maybe b/c of the misalignment of those boxes. Or maybe it would work better as a single block with LARGE text for the opening "What is an open startup?"

Just a theory, but I'm thinking the collection of 3 things instead of just 1 makes it feel like work to read through. And the fact that it matches the 3 columns underneath contributes to that feeling of "Man, I got a lot to read"

Back to those 3 boxes, I'd increase the size of the text.

"A company that shares it's metrics such as revenue and traffic in public." - "it's" should be "its". Also, I think I'd reorganize it as

A company that shares its metrics publicly - metrics like visitor analytics, marketing experiments - even revenue.

Be consistent with Title Casing. Right now you have:

• Open Startup List
• Our Heros
• A glowing community <-- fix this one
• Contact us <-- fix this one

Contact Us:

I don't think you need "We love to chat. We also love feedback." I don't think it adds much and it's more to read.

I'm not loving the 3 columns here either. I think it might be because there's no clear thing to focus on, so I don't spend time reading any of them.

"Already have an open startup? share it with us! There is nothing more wonderful than growing this community."

I'd change it to be more casual:

Do you already have an open startup? Share it with us! There's nothing more wonderful than growing this community (Nothing?? Debatable. ;))

Advertise:

"Open Startup List promotions help you grow your audience by reaching thousands of entrepreneurs around the world."

I'd change the first bit to "Promotions on Open Startup List". The other way leaves no space between the 2 ... uh, units(?) of "Open Startup List" and "promotions", which makes it so the reader has to parse those 4 words without the help of "on". Hopefully that makes sense.

I might get rid of the "Wanna chat?" block. It's easier to choose between 2 options -- or just just not disregard 2 things -- and (without any evidence) I doubt anyone on the fence is convinced to get in touch by CTAs like this.

Good luck!

First impression: the page is too visually busy. The image has a lot going on (including text), which makes the page seem like it'll take a lot of brainpower to understand it. As a person with very limited brainpower, this is a concern ;)

The value proposition is very clear, though. Good work there - I can immediately understand why I might want this.

The fonts and spacing don't look super-great. In the hero block, move the text up to align with the top of the image.

I'd make the font bigger, at least for the introductory text. Your opening is really good, I think:

• Test your thumbnails with hundreds of people in minutes
• Use better thumbnails and make sure your videos get the views they deserve

That's great - very clear. I think the 2nd one could be tightened a little bit:

• Use better thumbnails so your videos get the views they deserve
• With better thumbnails your videos will get the views they deserve

Not exactly tightened, I guess, but I'm trying to draw a more direct connection from "Using better thumbnails" and "Getting more views". I think the word "and" doesn't make that as obvious as it could be.

The boxes for "Competitor 1", "Your Thumbnail" and "Competitor 2" should be tweaked so the text stays on 1 line.

I don't think that block is as clear as it could be, actually. After thinking about it for a few seconds, I get what it means with the <-- randomized ordering -->, but I'm someone technical who thinks about this stuff. The average visitor (especially since you'll want to be reaching non-technical people) might skip right over it.

I think it needs to be set off visually so "Which video would you watch" is obviously the text directed at one of the testers, NOT you talking to your potential customer. The orange highlight also draws too much attention, as if you're supposed to click there. It doesn't seem like it'd be an unbiased test, in other words.

I'd consider naming them "Thumbnail 1", "Thumbnail 2", "Thumbnail 3". I'm not sure what "competitor" means in this context. Are you testing my thumbnails against my competitors' thumbnails?

This block could be much clearer if it was animated, but I know that's a bit of a hassle.

"To collect the data you need to choose thumbnails that get more clicks"

This text isn't clear - what data? I'm not sure what this is supposed to say, but here are a couple of interpretations:

• To collect the data, you need to choose thumbnails that get more clicks (???)
• To collect the data you need, choose thumbnails that get more clicks (Okay, this is clearer but I'm not collecting data, I'm trying to maximize my views).

It might be better as "To maximize your views, choose thumbnails that get the most clicks."

"More clicks on your thumbnails means more views on your videos" - this might be biased since I'm a technical person, but I already get what you're doing by this point. If anything, this is a summary of your offer that could be closer to the top. Or if it stays near the bottom, I'd have that chart lead straight into the CTA instead of the FAQ.

The FAQ is for people who are already very motivated - a casual visitor won't read through all that text (and it's kind of small text), so I wouldn't put that barrier in between your pitch and your CTA.

Also, make sure visitors can get to the CTA from parts of the page that are higher up. If I'm sold by the 2nd paragraph, don't make me scroll all the way to the bottom.

I think more spacing between sections would help, or very faint <hr/> dividers.

Overall, though, very good! I think your offer is clear and valuable.

Good luck, @yang!

I think your copy is quite good already! :) You address the customer instead of your own company, which is critical for good copywriting.

The only thing that didn't look natural is the funnel image. Because the arrows point upwards I read the formula from bottom to top and then the formula doesn't make sense. Perhaps switching the arrows downwards?

SimpleTasking

"Do you work in more than one project at the time? Simpletasking is a fast, easy to use, multi-project management platform with focus on getting work done quickly. Organize multiple projects and teams with an easy to use online tool"

The first sentence is a lot to digest. Breaking it down, the reader has to take in:

• fast
• easy-to-use
• multi-project
• management platform
• getting work done quickly

I think you need to figure out the main thing you're offering. Keep in mind I haven't scrolled the page yet, but so far, I have the impression that the real value you're offering is to aggregate disparate data sources so a user will have a better handle on the things they're working on. I think people can relate to that pain, so that's good.

Consider breaking up the screenshots with some text. Scrolling down the page, there's a big screenshot as part of the header, but then I immediately get another without any explanation for what I should be looking for or how to interpret the picture I'm about to see.

"Make things simple and complete work faster."

While "make things simple" is sort of vague, I think that header is a pretty concise value statement.

"Workflow that works for you, chat that turn into threads, threads that turn into tasks, tasks that turn into results. communicate, coordinate, cooperate. Multiple teams in syncrony, no matter location or time. Less clutter, simplicity and the right tools to get things done. A simple interface that lets you focus on what matters."

First, be careful to find grammatical and spelling mistakes. In this paragraph, I can see 3:

• "chat that turn into threads" (should be "turns")
• "communicate, coordinate, cooperate." ("Communicate" should be capitalized)
• "Multiple teams in syncrony" (should be "synchrony")

As for the content, I think the first sentence is decent but could be clarified with different punctuation (and maybe even some arrows), like:

Workflow that works for you: chat becomes threads 🠚 threads become tasks 🠚 tasks become results. Communicate, coordinate, and cooperate. Synchronize teams, reduce clutter, and focus on what matters."

I think that's a bit stronger (though "what matters" is still kind of vague).

"Save time, increase productivity"

Rather than a comma, I'd consider making this connection more direct, like, "Time saved == productivity increased"

"Simpletasking is designed to save time. We created our multi-project management platform out of our own necessity and now we can’t imagine working without it. If you work on more than one project at the time, you will love what we have created."

IMO, the most interesting parts of that paragraph are:

• you needed this tool
• it scratched your itch so well you can't imagine working without it
• the audience is well-defined as people who work on multiple projects

Given that you needed this tool yourselves, I think you could include an anecdote either in this paragraph or somewhere else on the page, e.g.

Our communication was all over the place. We had three deadlines on Friday and multiple clients were calling with last-minute changes.

(enter Simpletasking)

Now all of our wildest dreams have come true!

I'm not crazy about low-effort claims that all of us have seen before. When I read "you will love what we have created", I'm not the least bit motivated to try it out. I think, "They don't know that. Why did I just spend 0.2 seconds reading that? Booooo!"

I don't mean to be that harsh :) It might very well be true, but it seems like filler text. It's vague and I don't have a good enough reason to believe it.

More believable:

Our team members struggled to handle Google Docs, Slack, Basecamp and Outlook. We felt unfocused and unproductive.
We designed Simpletask to save time - our time - and it's made all the difference in our workflows. Do you manage multiple projects at the same time? Try out Simpletask and keep your head above water.

k, gotta run through the rest of the feedback so I can get to more people :)

"Have a bird eyes view and quickly switch between projects. Like in inbox, projects with activity move to the top. Select a project and get access to chat, multi-level thread, kanban board, team page and conference. Decide what tools to use for each project, start with just chat, then add threads. Flexible project workflow that adjusts to each project. Zoom out for a complete view of your project time lines and improve your time management."

• "bird eyes view" should be "bird's eye view"
• "Like in inbox" should be "Like an inbox"
• "Click on a project and get Chat with nested conversations, a Kanban board for next steps, and _____" (I'm not sure what "conference means" but I'd probably stick to 3 bullet points in the sentence)
• "Decide what tools to use for each project, start with just chat, then add threads." <-- this sounds like work
• "Flexible project workflow that adjusts to each project." while I understand what this means conceptually, it's very general and it doesn't create a picture in my mind. Since it's harder to interpret what you mean, and since I'd need to interpret it in order to see any value in that statement, I'd probably remove that sentence.
• "Zoom out for a complete view of your project time lines and improve your time management."
  • "time lines" should be "timelines"
  • improving time management doesn't motivate me. Meeting my deadlines, though - that makes me think of the pain of missing my deadlines, and if your product can address that, I might be interested.
  • sentence could also be shorter, like "Zoom out to see all your project timelines."

#### It all starts with chat.

"A powerfull powerful yet easy to use chat function feature lets helps the team get together for casual collaboration."

• if you want to emphasize that list of "C" words ("communicate, coordinate, cooperate, collaborate."), make sure it matches the one above, and capitalize the first letter.

"A constant flow of information that gets projects done."

• I want the "gets projects done"
• I don't want a constant flow of information! That sounds like the problem I had in the first place!

Okay, gotta run but I think this is enough for some revisions. I also saw at least one more typo: "effitient" should be "efficient".

And then some "global" feedback:

• I think this landing page is way too long. The CTA is at the very end and I don't see links peppered throughout that would take me from "Okay, I'm interested" to "Let me sign up".
• I like animated screenshots, so that's good (imo). However, they take up a lot of space here and the corresponding text isn't clearly related visually. You could always make shrink them to 2/3 of the page width and leave the remaining 1/3 for copy. If it's really important to see the full screen, make it clickable and open in a modal (but don't forget to handle the Esc key).
• "Simple tasks turn into successful projects." - this paragraph is kind of repititious. I've already heard these bullet points.
• the order of your "blocks" of text seems off to me... one doesn't follow the last in a clear journey from "what does this do? --> what makes me want it? --> okay, I want it, let's sign up"
• In fact, you could make this entire page much shorter (and collect a worthwhile stat) if you put all of the features and screenshots into a tabbed container or a carousel. I don't like carousels personally, but if you had each of your "reasons to sign up" as a tab, you could see which ones get the most clicks, which could help refine your focus.

Good luck!

---

P.S., nitpicks:

• the logo looks a little blurry and you can tell it has a light gray background against the white page. If it's possible to make it an SVG, great. If not, I'd make it a transparent PNG so the bg doesn't look off.
• the 2nd sentence in the header needs a period
• "If you work on more than one project at the time", "the" should be "a"

Hey, @schoon - glad it made sense :)

First, I'm using Dark Reader, so when I first visited the site, the header looked off. This may be an edge case, but figured I'd mention it.

A community for podcasters

This is short and simple, tells me what it is right out of the gates.

"We're a community of podcasters"... I might revise it as,

We're a community of podcasters with a shared goal to create fantastic audio content for our listeners.

Not a big change, but a little shorter and uses an active voice "goal to create" vs. "goal of creating". Also, I think "fantastic" is a little more impactful than "great", but that's just an opinion.

"Reach out and network with other shows, sharing the tips & tricks you've learned along your journey."

"Reach out" is unnecessary. I think "shows" is a little less clear than "podcasts". And there's an opportunity to engage the reader a little more, like

Network with other podcast creators and exchange tips & tricks -- what are some things you've learned on your journey?

That could be a bit better, but you get it... asking a question can make it more personal for the reader.

"We believe we're only as strong as the people we surround ourselves with, and want to see all of our members achieve success in both their lives, and their podcasting work."

I think I'd change it like:

We're only as strong as the people who surround us. Caster Community is dedicated to each member's success in podcasting. As a result, we expect our members to both receive and give support to those on the same journey.

"If you think you can give back to a community of like-minded podcasting enthusiasts, we would love to have you join us!"

Similar thing re: engaging the reader. I'd change it to a question like:

Are you ready to learn and give back to a like-minded community of podcasters? Join Caster Community now!

Hey, @Ruben88 - looking now...

First, design looks good. I appreciate the space you've left and the GIGANTIC opener. My eye immediately knows what to look at.

"Convert by chatting on visitors' favorite channels"

This is good and clear and simple. I'm torn and not positive this would be an improvement, but my one criticism is that the word "Convert" is meaningless without context. Convert what? Convert myself?

It might work better (though I hate that it's more verbose) as

Convert visitors to customers by chatting on their favorite channels

I think it's a little bit more clear - I mention it only because I felt a tiiiny hiccup when I first read the sentence, as if there was something I missed or misunderstood.

"Communicate with visitors via the channels they already use, build a relationship instead of being a live chat robot."

I think that comma doesn't work. I'm not a stickler for grammatical correctness or unusual use of punctuation, but anything that can make a sentence clearer is good in my book. I'd try:

Communicate with visitors via the channels they already use and build a relationship instead of being a live chat robot.
Communicate with visitors in the channels they already use. Build a relationship instead of being a live chat robot.
Communicate with visitors in the channels they already use — build a relationship instead of being a live chat robot.
Communicate with visitors in the channels they already use — build a relationship (instead of being a live chat robot).
Talk with visitors in the channels they already use — build relationships instead becoming a human chat robot.

A few options there, but (imo) "in" is better than "via" here, and to remove the comma somehow.

I like the highlighter - I'm doing the same at https://timeytim.com .

"Free plan for lifetime." should be "Free plan for life." or "Free lifetime plan."

I like the "Problem" | "Solution" structure. I'd change the text a tiny bit, though.

"Visitors refrain to contact you because they cannot find the communication channel they like"

Visitors don't contact you because they can't find their preferred communication channel."
Visitors don't contact you because you haven't offered their preferred communication channel."

"refrain" is just an uncommonly-used word and "refrain to" doesn't sound right - "refrain from" might work, but I think the dumbed-down version is better.

"Chat with your website visitors via their favorite channels."

Chat with website visitors in their favorite channels
Chat with your visitors through their favorite channels <-- I think this one flows best

"Keep the conversation going even after they’ve left your website."

This is good, but I'd extend the highlight to cover "even after they've left your website".

Sidenote, I don't know how to pronounce "Boei". "Bow-ee"? "Boyy"? You may want to call that out somewhere.

I think you don't need both "Demo here" and "You can trigger a call to action here". I'd keep the squiggly line.

"Also page links are supported ... and more will come"

Page links are also supported ... and more will come

You could also add a CTA there, like, "Is there a channel you want? Let us know"

Actually, I don't really know what "page links" means here.

"Cookie-free and privacy compliant" <-- that's good; I don't even want to think about that stuff.

Ah - you do explain the name!

Given that, I think you could have a cute animation for your logo. Like the life preserver appears like it's dropping into some water and bobs up and down a couple times.

After the initial "Get started" button, I don't think you should have more blocks like "No developer needed" and "Features" - if you still want to show that stuff, I'd put it behind a link like, "Want to learn more? Check out Features and Install guides.

The summary in the footer is good:

Boei helps you to chat with your website visitors via their favorite channels. You can now keep the conversation going even after they’ve left your website.

Succinct and clearly a valuable offering. Good work, @Ruben88!

I just love how you address the problem and then the solution you offer on your page! Only the hero title didn't make sense straight away to me.

What exactly is convert in this case? I had to read it twice to understand (but I'm Dutch hehe). But perhaps you can point out who will convert?

Convert (your) visitors by chatting on their favorite channels

And for copywriting, I always like to start with a pain point in the hero title. This will create an initial connection with your visitor (if it's your target market). And this is more of a claim.

Hey, @xtbhyn - happy to help :)

"Supercharge your static website" - I don't know what "Supercharge" means, but I'm interested enough to keep reading.

"Capture email, feedback, feature request and other details on static websites with our customizable UI components and pass the captured data directly to your cloud apps. No need to write backend code"

Okay, so the main value you're providing is:

• collect data even though you have a "static" website
• don't write backend code

Maybe there's a better way to name the pain that your target customer has. e.g.,

Static websites are great... but not perfect. They're lightweight and fast, but they make it hard to collect info from your visitors. Don't let valuable data slip through your fingers! With customizable UI components, Particle Systems lets you capture _____ without writing any backend code.

I like the animation.

"There are 2 parts.." ellipses should always have 3 dots. I'm not crazy about the title but I'm not thinking of alternatives at the moment. Probably need to eat lunch :)

Maybe "Level up in 2 steps"

I don't like that either, but you're trying to communicate A) what the visitor gets (a better website) and B) what they'll need to do.

Otherwise, I think the 2 blocks here are good. Good, simple descriptive info. This might be personal preference, but I usually spell it "web app" instead of "webapp". I'd also increase the line-height to space out the checklist items.

"Meet the Particles"

You already need to convince people of a lot to get them to sign up. I'd stay away from trying to brand the particles as well. It's just more of a cognitive load for the visitor and you want them to breeze through.

Also "GEC" makes me wonder, "What does that stand for?" and interrupts my flow. If you're going to make a new acronym, put "Generic Email Capture" or whatever in explanatory text right underneath. Good graphics, though.

As a non-native speaker, here's a little thing to remember. For the list,

• Capture email leads
• Checks email validity
• No page reload

There's a tiny inconsistency - "Capture email leads" describes what your customer will do. "Checks email validity" is what the GEC particle will do. It's good to keep those consistent, so it'd be better as:

• Captures email leads
• Checks email validity
• Doesn't reload the page

"Feedbug"

• "Capture feature request" should be "Capture feature requests"
• Same feedback re: "Doesn't reload the page"
• "Creates issue in:" should be "Creates issues in:"

"Chatter"

• not sure how to rephrase these bullet points but it'd be best if they could follow the same format as the other ones, where the bullet point describes the particle.

"Kontac"

• "Capture feedback" --> "Captures feedback"
• Doesn't reload the page
• Validates input

"Request a Particle or integration" - center this text in the button

"Save approx. 12 - 24 hours on every project. No need to develop yet another backend to capture email, feedback or other details"

Okay, THIS is your value statement but it's way down the page. Find a way to make this more visible.

"How it works" - I'd split this into a separate page. You've already shown the CTA, to sign up on your mailing list. Adding more content here feels like just more work. I want to choose to continue at that point. Maybe that's a personal thing, but that's the feeling I get.

Not sure I'd include pricing if you're still in the email capture phase. Maybe @8bit would have an opinion here. And when you do have pricing, make sure to link to it at the top of the page. It's just considerate of your visitors' time - if it feels like you're hiding the pricing from me, I'll be less likely to sign up and leave with a not-to-great impression.

Hope that helps - good luck :)